Relationships between children and their parents can be an assortment of feeling close, distant, connected, separate, loving, fragmented, giving, respectful, challenging and so on.
How then can we strengthen these relationships to have the quality that brings connection, love , safety , positive and respectful behaviour and happiness ?
Building a closer connection is the key to a well balanced, happy, healthy and well behaved child.
Here are 10 ways you can achieve the quality connection you desire :
1. Spend time with your child when they are first born. This bond carries through as time develops. Create this close connection as a firm foundation from the very start.
2. Pay attention to your child and be fully present not distracted by anything else. This shows your child how important they are to you and they then develop a healthy sense of self esteem and self worth.
3. Make your child a priority over work and other commitments. Schedule in time and always show up on time fully available.
4. Build trust at the baby stage by attending to your child's needs. Continuing this throughout their childhood builds your child's trust in you ,knowing you are there for them as a support. This makes them feel loved, understood and secure. It makes a child feel that you believe in them which allows them to grown, learn and mature.
5. Encourage your child to be themselves and to keep trying and never give up. This is how your child will see him or herself in the light of how you see them. It feeds how they feel about themselves.
6. Respect is two way. Treat your child with respect and they will learn how to treat you and others with respect. By respecting yourself also, with your own boundaries ,sets a positive example to your child of healthy ways to protect and respect yourself which will be mirrored by your child.
7. Remember every moment together is an opportunity to create a closer connection. The seemingly insignificant daily moments are usually the most important ones that build continual connection.
8. Listening to hear rather than listening to respond, helps build healthy communication that shows empathy and understanding for each other.
9. Learn to never take anything personally. Children sometimes say hurtful things. This is merely a reflection of how they feel about themselves at that time and they feel so comfortable and safe with you to share this emotion. Use this as a positive way to learn ways to regulate their emotions more effectively. Here you teach you empower your child with a lifelong skill.
10. Stay available even if there has been a disagreement. Always important to be the adult in the relationship. Your child needs to know it's okay to make mistakes and that they will be forgiven and loved regardless.
" Parents who engage in Conscious parenting understand the power of being present, being mindful, to take time to build connection and understanding that this foundation is the bedrock of all later self -worth, self-esteem and self-actualisation. "